Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. With this holiday, and with spring fever just around the corner, this is the time when couples in Boston and around the country begin to assess the long term viability of the relationship.
The following are the main issues that couples are addressing:
1. Give up or stay the course. Couples are not certain if they should stay in the relationship. Partners may question whether things are good enough or whether there is someone more suited for them and they should let go of what they have.
2. Resentments. Some couples have trouble letting go of all the resentments that have accumulated over the years.
3. Opposite traits repelling. First opposites attract and then they repel. Couples realize that they are opposite to their partner in fundamental ways and wonder if they can ever reconcile the differences.
4. Fighting words. Couples find themselves fighting which is often just a symptom of some deeper issue. They seem to be fighting too often about not important stuff and they don’t know how to stop.
5. Miscommunication. Females typically expect that their partner will do something special or romantic on Feb 14th. Some males think that the female should reciprocate or not leave it all up to them.
If any of the above issues sound familiar, then couple’s counseling in Boston will improve your relationships. For some, therapy will save the relationship.
Working to improve your relationship is normal. Everyone needs help when it comes to relationships due to the complexities involved.
Consider the benefits of working with a licensed psychologist who is an expert on relationships:
1. Stay the course. It is not easy to figure out whether to stay or leave because ambivalence is a common state in relationships. Some things you like and some you don’t. No one is perfect. You may need to figure out if you think you love your partner and also whether you can learn how to talk about things so that they can improve. Having an unbiased, professional counselor can help with moving through this process effectively.
2. Let go of the past. It is natural for resentments to build over the years if you don’t have a system for airing those resentments. You can let go of those resentments if you can figure out what you wanted instead and can have a discussion with your partner about those wants.
3. Start attracting again. Often couples are opposite in many ways due to the fact that opposites attract. However, if you learn to be best friends and learn to appreciate those differences instead of expecting that your partner will be just like you, you can complement each other, and learn new skills and interests. The end result: you will feel much happier.
4. New way to communicate. There are rules for fair fighting and communication skills to learn. Changing patterns of conversation is challenging. You may also need to learn to have passionate discussions instead of fights. If you think that only one is right and will win and the other wrong, than you both will lose.
5. Hire a translator. A counselor can work with you to better understanding your partner. Then romantic ideas and appropriate gifts can be integrated into your relationship and intimacy will deepen.
Today could be the day you turn your relationship around.
Dr. Gloria is a leading psychologist and expert on saving relationships and solving people problems. A board certified, licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Gloria has helped individuals and couples save relationships and solve problems for over two decades. She developed her proprietary methods while serving on the psychology department faculty at Harvard Medical School. She trained therapists in the human sexuality & relationship program as an attending psychologist at McLeans Hospital and served as expert counsel to Suffolk County Massachusetts Judges on divorce proceedings. She also served as a board member of the MA Psychological Association. She looks forward to helping you.
Fall in love again at Backbaycounseling
