Humans learn certain fundamentals early in life about relationships and tend to repeat them.  
Look back at your relationships.  How many of them started and ended the same way?  How many of your partners were similar in personal characteristics?  If you are having difficulty in your relationship, if you end it there is a high probability you will be back in the same circumstance as soon as you enter your next relationship.  Work with an licensed expert who can help you understand your patterns and then coach you to make changes before you repeat the same mistakes over and over.  The result:  You will save your relationship and save time, money and pain for you, your partner and your family.  It’s worth the three plus month of solutions-based work. 

Dr. Gloria Spitalny is a licensed couples therapist who focuses exclusively on repairing relationships.  Her office is conveniently located in Back Bay Boston.  She consults to athletes, celebrities and executives on relationships by phone, world wide. Learn more at http://www.backbaycounseling.com or call directly 617-266-0422

When it comes to dealing with relationship problems, the most common road block to success is typically the couple’s reluctance to consult with a therapist upon the first signs of trouble. As soon as you feel “things are moving down the wrong track, consider getting help.” For some, being proactive is the difference from saving a relationship or ending it. During construction, reduce speed. Seek alternate routes.
The road blocks to making a change are many but not insurmountable:
1. Some people think that entering into therapy is to admit failure.

They come to realize that they must admit to a certain level of failure to learn. And by taking action sooner than later, they avoid a failed relationship and more serious and costly consequences.

2. Some people believe that “if they are having problems now, they should just call it quits and find someone else.”

They come to realize that there are therapists with the knowledge and know-how to save relationships.

3. Some may associate a stigma with therapy and think that maybe they will be labeled.

They ask around and realize that everyone needs guidance when it comes to relationships. Relationships are highly complex and needing help is 100% normal.

There are many reasons not to come in for therapy! Perhaps the best reason to not work with a relationship psychotherapist is that you do not want to improve your relationship and increase your happiness.

Feel better today.
For those who do want to improve their relationship; for those of you who are planning a wedding and want to make sure they are learning the necessary skills for a great relationship; for those of you who want to save the relationship before it’s too late; NOW is the time to take action; it’s simple – send an email or pick up the phone. Talk to someone! You will feel better.

Couple’s therapy with a trained and licensed therapist that focuses exclusively on relationships is your best bet for helping you improve the skills required for long-term relationship success. And usually the sooner you obtain help, the higher likelihood that your relationship extends into the the next phase successfully.

The skills required for long-term success have not been taught — not by parents, not by schools and not by companies. So people go to school to learn the fundamentals required for their careers. That leaves 128 hours to eat, sleep and improve the skills required for a happy life and fulfilling relationship.

Marriage is hard. Divorce is harder.
Couples in the first, second or third stage of their relationship will improve on all facets: from communication…to trust, to romance…to sex. Married couples who have been together for many years will reverse negative trends, learn how to forgive each other for past mistakes, focus on behavior and cognitive improvements in the problematic areas. And for couples in which one partner has decided that they want to end the relationship, there are advantages to giving the relationship one last chance. Without making modifications to negative patterns, the individuals often wind up in the same negative cycle in their next relationship in their next relationship.

“Improving communication skills and learning how to resolve differences so that both people are happy with the solution are among the top skill that couples need in order to have a satisfying relationship,” says Dr. Gloria Spitalny of Backbaycounseling.com. There are many others.

Remember falling in love at School?
Backbaycounseling.com’s Relationship Therapy in Boston is a supportive caring environment where you learn how to improve your relationship. You will be working with a trained licensed doctor who has worked with thousands of couples in similar situations. Dr. Gloria trained psychologists as an instructor of psychology at the Harvard Medical School. In addition, she consulted to Massachusetts Judges on Divorce proceedings. As such, she has witnessed first hand the destructive nature, both psychologically and financially, of relationships that end prematurely.

Dr. Gloria is passionate about saving relationships. Everything you tell her in session and on the phone is confidential. She is objective and she will guide you through the process of building your relationship from the ground up. She will make the act of saving your relationship a fun, entertaining and enjoyable journey. Fall in love again at Backbaycounseling

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. With this holiday, and with spring fever just around the corner, this is the time when couples in Boston and around the country begin to assess the long term viability of the relationship.

The following are the main issues that couples are addressing:

1. Give up or stay the course. Couples are not certain if they should stay in the relationship. Partners may question whether things are good enough or whether there is someone more suited for them and they should let go of what they have.
2. Resentments. Some couples have trouble letting go of all the resentments that have accumulated over the years.
3. Opposite traits repelling. First opposites attract and then they repel. Couples realize that they are opposite to their partner in fundamental ways and wonder if they can ever reconcile the differences.
4. Fighting words. Couples find themselves fighting which is often just a symptom of some deeper issue. They seem to be fighting too often about not important stuff and they don’t know how to stop.
5. Miscommunication. Females typically expect that their partner will do something special or romantic on Feb 14th. Some males think that the female should reciprocate or not leave it all up to them.

If any of the above issues sound familiar, then couple’s counseling in Boston will improve your relationships. For some, therapy will save the relationship.

Working to improve your relationship is normal. Everyone needs help when it comes to relationships due to the complexities involved.

Consider the benefits of working with a licensed psychologist who is an expert on relationships:

1. Stay the course. It is not easy to figure out whether to stay or leave because ambivalence is a common state in relationships. Some things you like and some you don’t. No one is perfect. You may need to figure out if you think you love your partner and also whether you can learn how to talk about things so that they can improve. Having an unbiased, professional counselor can help with moving through this process effectively.
2. Let go of the past. It is natural for resentments to build over the years if you don’t have a system for airing those resentments. You can let go of those resentments if you can figure out what you wanted instead and can have a discussion with your partner about those wants.
3. Start attracting again. Often couples are opposite in many ways due to the fact that opposites attract. However, if you learn to be best friends and learn to appreciate those differences instead of expecting that your partner will be just like you, you can complement each other, and learn new skills and interests. The end result: you will feel much happier.
4. New way to communicate. There are rules for fair fighting and communication skills to learn. Changing patterns of conversation is challenging. You may also need to learn to have passionate discussions instead of fights. If you think that only one is right and will win and the other wrong, than you both will lose.
5. Hire a translator. A counselor can work with you to better understanding your partner. Then romantic ideas and appropriate gifts can be integrated into your relationship and intimacy will deepen.

Today could be the day you turn your relationship around.

Dr. Gloria is a leading psychologist and expert on saving relationships and solving people problems. A board certified, licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Gloria has helped individuals and couples save relationships and solve problems for over two decades. She developed her proprietary methods while serving on the psychology department faculty at Harvard Medical School. She trained therapists in the human sexuality & relationship program as an attending psychologist at McLeans Hospital and served as expert counsel to Suffolk County Massachusetts Judges on divorce proceedings. She also served as a board member of the MA Psychological Association. She looks forward to helping you.
Fall in love again at Backbaycounseling

Welcome to My blog!  “Welcome to Backbaycounseling.com Blog in Boston, MA. My name is Dr. Gloria Spitalny.  As way of introduction. I am a board certified licensed psychologist. I focus exclusively on relationship therapy, couples counseling and premarital/marriage counseling at my convenient BackBay, Boston location. I help couples and individuals to dramatically improve their relationships and lives. Helping you improve and save your relationship is my only passion.